I’ve been cooking up a little secret during 2018 and I can’t hide it anymore. If you’ve looked closely my social media feed you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been pretty absent this year. There hasn’t been a ton of posts to look at- not personal and not professional. And there certainly hasn’t been too many full body shots of me floating around. We’re pretty excited and nervous to announce that we’ll be adding a new nugget to our family later this year! I figured a blog post for my clients would be the easiest way to get this news out there. We braved the rain showers on Saturday to get some quick announcement photos at Overton Park!
The Journey Here
If you’ve followed my story over the past year you understand why I’m nervous as hell to announce this pregnancy. Last year we started trying to add an addition to our family, and after a few miscarriages we decided it was time for a break. It’s a pretty crushing thing to tell people about your joy and then have to tell people about your losses. But I have had so much support and love from friends and family through this journey that it’s been overwhelming. I never realized how many women suffer from fertility problems until I opened up about my own. It’s like a club that nobody ever really wants to be a member of.
After our latest miscarriage my doctor referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist. I’m pretty lucky that one of the best endos in the WORLD is located right in Memphis. Dr. Kutteh is a pretty awesome guy, but sitting in his office still made me nervous as hell. He’s recognized as one of the best doctors in Memphis, the USA, and globally. He’s treated some big name people, so this was encouraging! After lots of testing we came up with a game plan on how to keep me pregnant. So far, so good! (Knock on wood)
This time around has been a whirlwind. We found out about 3 weeks after I conceived that I was pregnant! I started with weekly doctor appointments. Several times a week I’d go for blood draws and weekly ultrasounds followed. My first scan showed nothing but a sac, and I was so scared because I have been there before. I walked on eggshells until my next ultrasound, going into the office with a lump in my throat and bracing myself for those words – I’m sorry but there’s no heartbeat. But to my surprise and joy it was there, just beating away. I almost lost all control of myself. Was this actually happening? And before I knew it there were little arms and then little legs, and then a gummy bear!
About 6 weeks into my pregnancy I shot a wedding with Ryan Jordan Photography at Heartwood Hall and funny little thing happened that day. Little did I know there was not one but TWO NFL football players in the wedding party. I knew who one was, Dak Prescott. He’s the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. (Sorry Dillon, I knew you looked familiar, but I couldn’t place you. You’re actually from the town I graduated college from. My husband was born and raised in the West Monroe/Monroe area! I go back there fairly often!) Being from Allentown, PA I’m obviously a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan (my dad has been a season ticket holder for over 35 years) and if you don’t know that the Dallas Cowboys are our rivals – well now you do. I didn’t want to say anything to Dak about football because well, he was just there to be himself. And he was legit the *nicest* guy ever. I had just wrapped shooting the groom and details when we were all hanging out in the hallway talking about whiskey and liquor. I guess the hotel had stocked some little JD bottles in the rooms the guys were grabbing to take. Someone offered me a bottle and I turned it down, quietly saying I was pregnant and couldn’t partake. But not to make a big deal of it because it was so early. Someone asked if it was bad luck and I mentioned it’s been a struggle and that this is our 4th try since I got pregnant with my son. Dak looked at me and said – well 4 is kinda my lucky number so I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Guys, I almost DIED. Right there on the hotel floor, almost just fell out. I had no response. None. I just kinda stupidly shook my head, laughed, and said oh yea? That’s cool. So one day I’ll get to tell this story to my little nugget and I think that’s pretty damn cool. Nugget, Dak said you’d be just fine. And Dak, you’re pretty awesome guy! I won’t hold the whole Cowboys thing against you! 🙂
It’s no secret the past 2 years have been hard. Losing my mother followed by losing my children – it’s been a struggle. I felt like the past 2 years have been coined the years of loss. I started to panic this year because I have very little on my books. Normally I’m slammed with weddings, but this year has been slow. I turned down a lot of work last year because my original due date was in May of 2018, and I never was able to make up those losses. So I just prayed and prayed and knew God had a reason for this. And boy did he ever. The first trimester has had me so sick that I have a hard time even opening Facebook and seeing all the food videos. With all of the doctor appointments I’ve had it would have been a struggle working full-time on photography while getting all of this medical work done. But there is one thing I’ve learned through this – no matter what you are going through God is preparing you for what is to come. There is a reason for everything.
It’s really hard to have faith in situations where you feel like you can’t win. It’s hard to look ahead and believe that something good will come of the struggle. But every single obstacle in your path is making you stronger for a battle you know nothing about. So although I’m still super nervous with this pregnancy (and I probably will be until delivery) I believe that God will see me though.
So how does this impact my wedding clients this year? It doesn’t! I’m not due until Thanksgiving and my last wedding for the year is in October. So if you’ve got a booking with me this late summer/fall have no fear. I’ll be there bump and all! Hopefully this one won’t kick me so hard I pee myself (yes, that happened with my son. So embarrassing!) I will not be taking on any more weddings until early spring of 2019, but I will still be shooting portraits!
Thank you to my bestie Rebecca Jaffe with Rebecca J. Imagery for the announcement photos! And for you never ending support. I love you babe <3